Took my almost 13 year old (Kayden) shopping today.  We've been stuggling lately. Lots of "your so dumb mom" looks, and lots of, I want to clobber him, feelings, but somehow today that all went out the window.  The way he looked at me, the way he smiled at me and tried to start conversations, you would have thought I was his favorite person in the world.  To be honest I wasn't quite sure how to take it.

In the past every time we had gone even to Walmart to pick out a pair of shorts (forgive me) but he acted like a total moron, seriously.  He would stand there and wait for the close to walk to him.  I don't know what changed. . . . well actually I am wondering i=now as I write if it is simply that Ellie was not with us.

How could that be though?  He loves Ellie, why would he act so ridiculous when she is around?   . . .. Maybe he doesn't know how to outshine her (quite impossible for anybody to be honest), and so he just  . . . well he nothings. (Not a verb a know, but it's the best way to describe it.)

I don't handle it well at all.  A mother of 7, who homeschools, does all the books, bills, etc for a small business, teaches art classes, etc. etc. etc., time is NOT my friend, and I am very intolerant of "nothingness".
But today, today was wonderful.  Today he was the boy I love, the boy I love to talk to, and listen to.  I love to teach and learn from him.  Today it was like the whole world disappeared, all our past frustrations completely poofed.

Journal remind me, remind me how much he needs personal, one on one, time.  With no one around at all, especially Ellie.

Thank you Father in Heaven for a beautiful day, a wonderful experience that will not be easily forgotten.  Thank you for giving me my boy, my friend, my son, at least for today.

Spelling Walky-talky. . . or 2+2

Kids love to play with walky-talkies, but they never know what to say on them.  "Hi" "Hi" "What are you doing?" "Nothing, what are you doing?"

Why not ask them spelling words, or their math facts over the walky-talky?  They don't realize that they are doing work, they are just excited that they have something to say over the intercom. 

I went through dozens of words, and more than 50 math facts before my 5 year old tired of the game. 

The Three Dangers. To Search and Destroy . . . or not.

#1 Aspartame                               #2 MSG                                           #3High Fructose Corn Syrup

Ok, I've known how horrible Aspartame is for a LONG time, it leaches nutrients from your bones, makes you crave carbs, sucks your memories away when you are old (alsheimers) sp ??

I've tried to stay away from it for the most part.  I mean who wants to taste chemicals anyway.  Seriously, it is so obvious when they use it in drinks and salad dressings.  Still haven't given up an occasional piece of gum or the traditional Sour mint after sacrament on Sunday. 

. . . . but I am beginning to wonder. . . .should I?  Will it be worth it?  Will it really make a difference? 


#2 Evil  MSG

Migraines, mimics M.S. symptoms, causes obesity. 

Did you know that the only thing they do to cause a rat to be obese is give it MSG. 

You've got to be kidding me!  They know for a fact that it causes obesity and they still pump it into all our foods full knowing we are going to look like plump little lab rats!  So cruel!

So what would I have to give up?  Salad dressings aren't a problem, I can just make my own, they taste better anyway. .. .but Soy Sauce?  I love that stuff!  I mean really love it!  Or rather love cooking with it.

How can I make stir fry without soy sauce?

Chips?  Most of them . . .

#3 Corn Syrup

I didn't really buy into this one until just a day or two ago, and now I get it.  DANG!  I wish I didn't.  That stuff is in EVERYTHING!  I mean I even went to use bread crumbs and there it was.  It is in the milk substitute (Morning Moo) that we have used for years. 

I have bragged and said how much healthier my kids have been because they are only getting the whey of the milk, yea right!  Just replaced the rest with sugar, even worse though, chemically altered sugar.  UuuG!

SOOoooo now what do I do?  Do I just cut the 3 nightmare ingredients out of my own life?  or do I purge my home like a mother searching to destroy a treacherous germ pegging her family. 

I'm worried if I start looking my pantry will be empty by the time I'm done. 

I started and within 20 seconds I had, 5 boxes of cereal, Graham crackers, crackers, bread crumbs, BBQ Sauce, a stir fry marinade. 

I had to stop myself.  Great!  Now what? 

Do I become fanatical?  Do I become one of those people that I eat healthy but feed my kids Mac and Cheese and hot dogs because I don't want to deal with it? 

Seems to me that if I believe it is as bad as it is, I should go on a search and destroy mission and eliminate it from my home.  Would I want a decease sitting in my home?

I'm just not sure I am that committed yet.  Help me be. 

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

1. Prophet-Seer-Revolator

    Love to listen to the direction given from the 12 apostles.  Sometimes the most simple of things are well forgotten, like, if you are being contentious, unforgiving, holding a grudge, mean . . . STOP IT!  I love it!  How simple is that? 

   Change your heart!  Do good, Love, have Patience, be kind, have charity, be forgiving, be merciful!

   I love the bumper sticker he quoted.  

   DON"T JUDGE ME BECAUSE i SIN DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU! 

   Such a good reminder. . . 

   "Those who are merciful will obtain Mercy." 

   I am grateful to live in a time where I can hear and listen to a prophets voice.  How blessed are we!

    

A Tribute to My Ancestors

These are a few of the pictures I have been gathering for the last 14 years.  Each leave has the name of my ancestor printed on it.  This goes back 5 generations from me, but covers 3 generations( a picture for each). 

One day I came around the corner, and saw my little boy staring a the pictures of his ancestors.  I paused to watch him.  It took great restraint not to bust out laughing, for as he looked at each picture, his facial expression changed.  He scrolled up his eye brows and gave stern looks, than he cocked his head to one side with a whimsical look of not a care in the world, then big grins.  

I watched further and noticed his little lips were moving, mouthing conversations to each family member. 

It brought me great joy, to know that he felt he could talk to and discuss his day with those that love and care for him. 

I feel it is important to surround our children with objects that will encourage them to reflect and ponder on  . . . who am I, where did I come from, who should I be thankful to for these blessings. 

I am ever grateful to those who have struggled through this life before me, who have devoted there lives to doing the very best that they could, and by so doing have given me the gift of life and a full heritage.

Thank you, for being part of my life then, and now. 

Project for tomorrow. . . .hopefully. . . maybe. . . depends on my mood.

 So, I drive my husband crazy!  I tell him that is why he married me, he didn't want life to be boring.  :)

I have this brain glitch that makes it nearly imposable to finish things, I have found a way around that. . . well kinda.

The trick is, I start 5 projects, well more like 12 and when I get board of one, I move to the next, and when I am avoiding all 11 projects I finely make it back around to the 1st project and it finely gets done.  See, I'm a genius!

 If you can't find self mastery, find self trickery. 

So this one has been going on now for, oh two months now?  Thankfully you can't see the insane amount of toys that are stacked in here, along with, well everything else in the house the kids don't want to find a place for, like an entire laundry basket of unmatched socks. Grrrr.

So this is Lydia's room, or will be one day.  The story how this came to be is. . . well, . . .so . .. . ME.

I decided that I missed the color blue, what ever happened to BLUE?  Doesn't anybody like that poor lonely color anymore?  So I was determined to find the perfect blue for my room. . . .problem was, there was NOT the perfect blue, there was, . . .baby blue, and sky blue, and periwinkle, and lavender blue, and a yellow blue, and gray blue. . . .by golly, I tried 6 different paint samples and I could not find a good blue.  

Problem is I live 30 minutes away from the nearest paint store, and I was NOT about to drive up there again and waist my entire day driving back and forth. . . so I improvised. 

Well, there were other things I didn't want to do either, like, tape the base boards, or cut in to the edges, or use a roller, or a paint brush.  Grin.  You are thinking what is up with this lady?  How is she going to paint?

 Simple.  Use a . . . .what are those things called?  Spackle knife thingy?  Anyway the things you put texture on the walls with. 

This is what is starts out looking like. . . kinda like camo hu?

It was quite comical to have each of my kids come in and say, "What are you doing?" with astonishment in their voice, none of them were brave enough to tell me I was crazy, just that it was weird. Then they would each spend the next five minutes explaining that it was a GOod weird, not a bad weird.  "Oh of course not."

My husband?  He just pleads the 5th, raised eyebrows, a smirk, and he disappears.

 This is my room. . . has this wonderful, take me away feeling.  Old, nostalgia, peaceful, non conformative.

Honestly though it didn't turn out that bad once I figured out what in the world I was doing. I used all 6 of the sample colors and created my own blue. The pictures really don't do it justice, the entire room has this, waterfall-y, early spring morning after a rain fall feeling; feels like old painted over plaster. I love it in there.


And the cool thing is it took very little paint.  I didn't have to follow and rules, . . and . . .well it allowed me to feel free. 


This is the beginning of Lydia's which I hope to finish tomorrow, or at least do something with tomorrow.

It's the kids one day at school so I might be able to allow my creative juices to flow, and lose myself in someTHING I love.. . that is instead of people I love.

Cub Scouts- Whirlwind.

Is it just me?  Do I not know how to have a calm and put together event?

12 Cub Scouts, 7 of my own kids, 4 neighbor kids, one of which had an accident and peed his pants, and another that nobody could find for 1/2 an hour, and don't forget the one who lost his shoes, plus a collaboration of bikes, plasma cars, scooters, skateboards, wiggle car, an open garage that was imposable to get closed.

Not to mention the phone that kept ringing, the husband that came home, the baby that was hungry (again), and the three year old that disappeared during lunch time and suddenly reappeared with a constant "I'm hungry, mom I'm hungry on his lips. 

My shoulders are starting to tense and my heart palpitate with the slightest of recollections.

I will never give the illusion that I am a super mom with a perfect disposition, quite honestly no artist in the world is good enough to paint that picture.

We did manage to pass off the Boys BobCat requirements and a re-run of the obstacle coarse we used for Jensen's Birthday.  I think they had fun. Me, I'm just glad I made it through without blowing a gasket.

Well I'm not counting the temper tantrum I threw when I found Ellie (13) and Kayden (12) in the bathroom filling up full sized balloons with water and FOOD COLORING.  What are they thinking?  NOW, in the middle of all this?  What happens if one brakes?  There is over a gallon in each one!  Where will all the food coloring go?  AAAAA! 

______________________________________

Diner of course had to be addressed immediately after the boys left, Stir Fry and Chinese Dumplings from Costco (Not Good!)  don't get them. 

Diner was peppered with a thousand questions on how you or rather "I" make Chinese Dumplings. 

"Hu?  Why in the world would you think that I know how to make Chinese Dumplings?"

"You lived in Japan?"

"So, if you lived . . . . . honestly I couldn't think of a good one, I was to exhausted, I just shook my head.

"How did you eat them then?"

"I bought them at the gas station."

Needless to say, I grabbed Lydia(3 1/2 months), went back in my room and pretended like I was nursing her for an indefinite amount of time, Leif (husband) calls her my security blanket; sometimes that is exactly what she is. 

Thankfully everyone got the hint and "disapeared", except for Isaac (3 but has told everyone he is 4 for a very long time) who wanted to play Rock, Paper, Scissors with me, by then the phone had rang and he settled for playing with Lydia. 

He is so dang cute, his little imagination amazes me.  He played and played with her, having the sweetest conversations with her and then with all the enthusiasm and excitement in the world, "Mom, Mom, Lydia is so happy, she won me, see!  Her Paper won my Rock like this, and she won!"  He practically glowed he was so excited for her; absolutely amazed that she figured out how to put her Paper on His Rock and win him when she was so small. He is also constantly amazed that she knows how to say four (his favorite number).  We couldn't figure out why he thought that, until he showed us, see she says four, and he held up four fingers. Grin. 

Isaac has brought me pure joy nearly every single day of his existence.  I can even say it was SOo worth it to be pregnant with him, and if you knew anything at all about my pregnancy with him, you would be absolutely shocked, really, you would be.  He is a gem in this world. Not sure why my Father in Heaven chose to trust him to me, but I will ever be grateful He has shared him, because I adore him.